Chapter 7 - Part B
[Author's Notes] Happy Birthday to Me! Lucky me, I actually survived this long. A whopping 41 years. Okay enough celebrations. Time to work
Remy trotted along on her horse in silence, but occasionally pointing out things that might be interesting to two youngsters who'd been locked up for a while. She showed them birds hidden in the trees, insects tucked between leaves, snakes slithering between rocks. Then she would sweep her arm, to indicate for them to see the vista. Every time the two changed focus, squeals of delight would follow.
Noticing that the two were slowing down, Remy said, "We're getting to the bend in the road. From there, the edge of the forest is a 10 minute brisk walk. You'll be able to see the Foundation from there." The comments produced the predictable outcome; Tristan and Tiny walked faster.
"Remy? Is that the mountain I see in front of us? Between the trunks?" Tristan queried. A grunt from Remy told Tristan she was right. Her excitement showed, she skipped as she walked. Led by her, Remy and Tiny followed, the last bit of the path taken in silence.
[Author's Notes] Okay, here's the hard part for me. As a reader, I tend to bleep over descriptions and get to the meat of the story. I don't need much for my over active imagination for me to see what's going on. Yes, guilty as charged. I'm a speed reader. So, in my own writings, I usually leave the descriptions for the 2nd or 3rd draft. By then, I'm so immersed in the story that I pretty much know what everything looks like. However, this is the first view the reader has of the school. Since the school itself can be considered a symbol, if you want - or a non-living character, AND the school can't speak for itself and show itself to the reader, my character has to provide that. Part of the reason why this chapter was hard to write was I realized I had to visualize the complete school. I didn't need to do that for the slave camp. Anyway, here goes.
Tristan could see the edge of the woods now. Before her, the path wound past the trees, up a gradual incline that gained steepness at the top. She couldn't see what was atop that hill yet and so her pace quickened. She broke into a run with Tiny not far behind.
She stopped short at the edge. Tiny slammed into her hard and they both tumbled to the ground. Giggling as they untangled themselves, Tristan found herself leaning on an elbo, looking up the hill.
Her mouth opened gradually widening into an "O". The hill must open up to a large plateau. Before her, two gigantic towers loomed with a wall of stone between them. She craned her neck. The mountain came to an abrupt cliff right where the left tower began but the mountain seamed to curl around the back sloping down until it reached the bottom of the right tower. Kind of like an arm protecting the back. Another smaller tower stood between the two large ones, but further to the back.
Looking back, she saw that Remy had just reached them. "Can we?" Tristan pleaded and Remy nodded with a chortle. "C'mon Tiny! Race you to the top!" and she took off, her legs pounding her feet into the ground. She slowed down as she neared the top, never taking her eyes off the huge building in front of her. She realized she was wrong. The tower in the back wasn't smaller. It grew bigger before her eye faster than the other two and she realized the tower was probably a lot further back than she realized. She also realized the two towers were a lot further apart than she had at first thought.
[Author's Notes] That's right! I was also going to come up with how the Foundation came to be. And how this hugeass building came to be. Who said writing a novel was easy?
She sat down on the meadow and answered Remy's questioning look with "I'm just going to wait here for Agatha." With an understanding look, Remy trotted off through the large archway in the middle of the stone wall shouting greetings. Tiny, with a sheepish look, said "I'm going to go after Remy. She said she had a job in mind for me, and well," he shuffled his feet, "I want to make sure they get their coin's worth." Without waiting for a response, Tiny ran off after Remy.
Where the mountain touched the left tower, there was a waterfall, no, two. One that fell towards the meadows where she was, and one that must fall on the other side of the tower, where the mountain arced behind. She could hears two different roars. The archway looked like it were two stories high; yes, she could see a couple of windows near each tower between the top of the archway and the ground.
[Author's Notes] I just got banned from the living room. Apparently I wreak havoc every time I walk in. I tried to stop when she told me not to walk on the loose board! My momentum just carried me forward and ... well, she has to redo part of the flooring now. *sighs* Left here with nothing to do except write. Woe is me.
I am so fucking pissed. I just lost another two paragraphs. She came in and made me feel better and told me to go on. I swear I have to stop losing goddamn paragraphs. I NEED A NEW MAC!!!!!
Remy trotted along on her horse in silence, but occasionally pointing out things that might be interesting to two youngsters who'd been locked up for a while. She showed them birds hidden in the trees, insects tucked between leaves, snakes slithering between rocks. Then she would sweep her arm, to indicate for them to see the vista. Every time the two changed focus, squeals of delight would follow.
Noticing that the two were slowing down, Remy said, "We're getting to the bend in the road. From there, the edge of the forest is a 10 minute brisk walk. You'll be able to see the Foundation from there." The comments produced the predictable outcome; Tristan and Tiny walked faster.
"Remy? Is that the mountain I see in front of us? Between the trunks?" Tristan queried. A grunt from Remy told Tristan she was right. Her excitement showed, she skipped as she walked. Led by her, Remy and Tiny followed, the last bit of the path taken in silence.
[Author's Notes] Okay, here's the hard part for me. As a reader, I tend to bleep over descriptions and get to the meat of the story. I don't need much for my over active imagination for me to see what's going on. Yes, guilty as charged. I'm a speed reader. So, in my own writings, I usually leave the descriptions for the 2nd or 3rd draft. By then, I'm so immersed in the story that I pretty much know what everything looks like. However, this is the first view the reader has of the school. Since the school itself can be considered a symbol, if you want - or a non-living character, AND the school can't speak for itself and show itself to the reader, my character has to provide that. Part of the reason why this chapter was hard to write was I realized I had to visualize the complete school. I didn't need to do that for the slave camp. Anyway, here goes.
Tristan could see the edge of the woods now. Before her, the path wound past the trees, up a gradual incline that gained steepness at the top. She couldn't see what was atop that hill yet and so her pace quickened. She broke into a run with Tiny not far behind.
She stopped short at the edge. Tiny slammed into her hard and they both tumbled to the ground. Giggling as they untangled themselves, Tristan found herself leaning on an elbo, looking up the hill.
Her mouth opened gradually widening into an "O". The hill must open up to a large plateau. Before her, two gigantic towers loomed with a wall of stone between them. She craned her neck. The mountain came to an abrupt cliff right where the left tower began but the mountain seamed to curl around the back sloping down until it reached the bottom of the right tower. Kind of like an arm protecting the back. Another smaller tower stood between the two large ones, but further to the back.
Looking back, she saw that Remy had just reached them. "Can we?" Tristan pleaded and Remy nodded with a chortle. "C'mon Tiny! Race you to the top!" and she took off, her legs pounding her feet into the ground. She slowed down as she neared the top, never taking her eyes off the huge building in front of her. She realized she was wrong. The tower in the back wasn't smaller. It grew bigger before her eye faster than the other two and she realized the tower was probably a lot further back than she realized. She also realized the two towers were a lot further apart than she had at first thought.
[Author's Notes] That's right! I was also going to come up with how the Foundation came to be. And how this hugeass building came to be. Who said writing a novel was easy?
She sat down on the meadow and answered Remy's questioning look with "I'm just going to wait here for Agatha." With an understanding look, Remy trotted off through the large archway in the middle of the stone wall shouting greetings. Tiny, with a sheepish look, said "I'm going to go after Remy. She said she had a job in mind for me, and well," he shuffled his feet, "I want to make sure they get their coin's worth." Without waiting for a response, Tiny ran off after Remy.
Where the mountain touched the left tower, there was a waterfall, no, two. One that fell towards the meadows where she was, and one that must fall on the other side of the tower, where the mountain arced behind. She could hears two different roars. The archway looked like it were two stories high; yes, she could see a couple of windows near each tower between the top of the archway and the ground.
[Author's Notes] I just got banned from the living room. Apparently I wreak havoc every time I walk in. I tried to stop when she told me not to walk on the loose board! My momentum just carried me forward and ... well, she has to redo part of the flooring now. *sighs* Left here with nothing to do except write. Woe is me.
I am so fucking pissed. I just lost another two paragraphs. She came in and made me feel better and told me to go on. I swear I have to stop losing goddamn paragraphs. I NEED A NEW MAC!!!!!
posted by resigned idealist @ 11/11/2004 04:45:00 PM
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